Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The Perfect Holiday

Trailer (Opens 12/14)

I am concerned...Concerned about this post. I am concerned that it will become more a rant than comical (I think) observations. This movie is that bad. This movie leeches from that many movies. This movie has that many stereo-types (the foremost being a nasty one about African-American's poor taste in movies (anything with Eddy Murphy)).

Now, I realize that this movie is, "An African American take on the classic and beloved Christmas family film," but what the heck does that mean? Are we so different that now we need black and white (no, not as in before color television) versions of our movies? And does this mean we can just switch out black characters for white characters and visa versa? I would love to see a white version of the Barbershop. It would be titled Supercuts.

"There are three things white people need to tell the truth about:

One- Eminem isn't white. He is a black albino.....

Two- Thomas Jefferson was definitely sleeping with his slaves.

Three- Mark Fuhrman framed OJ.

Can we get straight and gay versions of movies next? What about a straight version of Top Gun? ( funny clip)

Ok..... Enough of that, on to the trailer and synopsis....

"The first African American ensemble comedy for the Christmas season, The Perfect Holiday stars Gabrielle Union.......yada yada yada......."

This is just a lie. Trust me. I know. I just avoided reviewing a movie last week that was the EXACT same thing! This Christmas just came out, and if I am not mistaken it was the first African American ensemble comedy of the season.

Which came first? The bad Christmas movie based on cliche, or the worse Christmas movie based on cliche?

Ug.. I feel myself slipping into rant mode. For that reason I will simply finish this post with a small smattering of the cliches that this movie uses.

1.) Single mom struggles with raising children, loneliness during the holidays, and cooking spaghetti. Just the situation I like to take advantage of...

2.) Man lies about what kind of work he does. He really works at the mall part-time, but he tells the woman he sells office supplies.... If you are going to lie about this, shouldn't at least make your lie impressive?

3.) Kids resist the new man in their mother's life. Seriously, didn't Are We There Yet already do the African American retelling of this cliche?

I can't even mention them all. I also can't mention my plea enough times, PLEASE DO NOT GO SEE THIS MOVIE! It only encourages people to make more of these movies....

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