Friday, November 23, 2007

He Was a Quiet Man

Trailer (Opens 11/30)

Dude #1- Holy crap! That man has a bundle of dynamite with a timing device strapped to his chest! Holy crap! Holy crap!

Dude #2- Dude, chill... That is a white guy. If he was going to kill a lot of people he would use a sawed off shotgun or a van full of manure. We are sa-- Holy crap! That guy's got a turban!

Probably not the most popular movie poster at airports..

This movie stars Christian Slater, Elisha Cuthbert, and William H. Macy. The trailer starts at the scene of an office shooting. A bald skinny man is shooting up the place, and Slater's character is watching/hiding. Slater decides to "piss off" the shooter who, while concurrently reloading, questions slater with, "Can you tell me what you would call a idiot who is crazy enough to piss off a maniac with a loaded gun?" Slater replies " I would call him a maniac with his own loaded gun." BANG BANG BANG! Slater shoots him and saves the lives of some people in his office, including Alicia Cuthbert. ( Her dad was too busy kicking ass and taking names to save the day today)

Apparently from this stellar performance Slater's character gets promoted to some big job . Now, hold up. Are we Americans sooooo stupid that we don't even want to question Slater's character about why he had a loaded gun? I guess the writers figured that if the American public couldn't tell Lance Bass from N'SYNC was gay, there was NO WAY we were going to notice that people don't feel the need to ask the nerdy--glasses-wearing-middle-aged-balding-guy why he had a loaded gun in his cubicle. Sheep I tell you... SHEEP!

Lance? Gay? Everything I thought I once knew is now wrong!

Anyways, Slater's character goes to the hospital to visit a girl who's life he saved (Cuthbert). I don't really understand this part, because it seems like Slater decides to keep the girl. I guess when you save someone's life they owe you a life debt and you get to keep them. I would definitely except a life debt from Cuthbert. Not so much from Jar Jar Binks though.

Elisha in a wheelchair or the guy with long ears and annoying lisp...

Cuthbert goes on to teach him life lessons and through his time with her he learns that he is beautiful (he takes off his glasses).

The End...

Yes! I have finally found my Lost in Translation meets She's All That meets Office Space meets Rambo.

On a side note, go to the official website and read the text on the sides of the picture. I read this first and thought the movie would rock, but after watching the preview I was less than enthused.

I am truly impressed that you kept this going through the holiday. As a regular reader, I cannot stress enough how much credibility you've earned by keeping to your schedule, and it won't go unrewarded...
Yes, the sidebar text on the movie's site does make it sound awesome!

Unfortunately, it looks like that movie wasn't made. *sigh*

Though it makes me want to rent a good Western.
Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]