Thursday, November 15, 2007

August Rush

Trailer (Opens 11/21)

As potentially the most exciting music-based movie since Mr. Holland's Opus, August Rush is sure to hit a sweet note with movie-goers everywhere. GAG ME....

Problem #1
Haley Joel Osment is not in this movie. Now, I know he has to be like 20 by now, but don't you wish we could have killed him, cryonically frozen him, and then revived him every time we needed a young male actor of about age 12?

All parents who really want their children give them up for adoption. Huh? I can see how a mom might want to keep a kid, but can't due to money, crack, or both, but what is the deal with this movie?

Dear Orphanage,

In this basket you will find my baby. I HAVE to give him up. Even though I am 30-something, my Dad won't let me keep him. Also, it might interfere with my playing of stringed instruments in the symphony. Oh, but I reaaaaaaally want to keep him.

Spoiled WASP

Problem #3
This movie is not fair for orphans. This is what the studio is really telling orphans. "Hey, people feel sorry for you. We are putting you in this story to exploit people's emotions and hopefully make them feel invested in our movie. Seriously though, It can't get much worse for you. You should thank us. With any luck, this mind generate some buzz for "your kind"."

Here is a challenge: Name the last movie that has an orphan in it that was "normal"? Every orphan has to either be a wizard, a superhero, a prodigy, a Martian or be abnormally cute and have curly hair.

Imagine the interview process....

Prospective Parents- Yes, we have seen quite a few movies about orphans. Could you please tell us about your special talent and how it could benefit our lives?

Orphan- But, I don't have a power....

Prospective Parents- Well, we don't want you. Maybe you should watch some movies to learn how to become a real orphan. Call us up if you get a letter from Hogwarts, or develop super-human strength.

Orphan- :(

Imagine the waiting list for orphans who could lay golden eggs....

The trailer goes on to show:

How much this kid likes music ( You can tell because it is coming out of his heart).
Robin Williams playing the role of a mentor (sans Matt Damon, plus chaps)

The kid's parents trying to find their son they want (yet gave up) by following his music?

What the heck? I don't get it either.... Just go see it so that orphans don't feel un-loved.

Torch is awesome.
yes... Torch time!!!

I have no "real" comments b/c I really enjoyed the review :-)
Technically, I don't think you NEED to kill Haley Joel in order to freeze him...but I suppose for anyone who saw AI, killing him might be a joy in itself...
at Troy:

I REALLY wanted to kill that kid when I watched A.I.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still don't know how I survived that movie till the end, I was probably depressed/drunk
If you actually watched the movie, you would know, it was not the mother's choice to give up her son. She thought he was dead at birth.
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